Goldilocks and the Three Bears at Milton Keynes Theatre Review🐻🥣

There’s nothing quite like a Milton Keynes panto — especially when it’s bursting with local nods and cheeky references that make the whole audience nudge each other knowingly.

This year’s Goldilocks and the Three Bears isn’t just packed with sparkle and silliness; it also throws in a few winks to life here in the city of roundabouts, of course, the ever-unfazed residents who no longer blink at the sight of a Starship robot trundling past. In fact, we even get a special appearance from one of these lovable little delivery bots — this one brilliantly named U-Bear. Yes, a Starship with a stage name. Only in MK! It’s the kind of unexpected moment that sends ripples of laughter through the crowd, reminding everyone just how wonderfully quirky our city can be.

If there’s one thing you can rely on at Christmas, it’s that Crossroads Pantomimes know exactly how to deliver a show that feels like a warm festive hug – and Goldilocks and the Three Bears at Milton Keynes Theatre is no exception. Running now until 11th January 2026, this year’s production offers everything panto-goers adore: the slapstick, the sparkle, the silliness, and that heart-soaring feel-good magic. But what truly sets it apart is the wonderful real-life father–daughter duo at its centre: Brian Conley and Lucy Conley. Watching the two of them share the stage is simply joyous. You can see the affection, the trust, the little glances that say, “we’ve done this routine a thousand times at home but let’s pretend we haven’t.” Their chemistry adds a layer of genuine warmth to the chaos – the kind of magic you can’t script, only feel.

Brian takes on the role of Billy Barnum, the ever-optimistic circus master who runs the “best circus in town” alongside his talented daughter Goldilocks (Lucy) and his magnificently over-the-top mother, Dame Betty Barnum (the fabulous David Robbins). They’d have an easy life… if it weren’t for the dastardly Baron Von Blackheart, played with deliciously wicked flare by Gary Milner. He’s the kind of villain you want to boo – not because he’s scary, but because he looks like he’s having such a ridiculously good time being bad. His plan? Nothing short of stealing the circus deeds and claiming the spotlight for himself.

The storyline unfolds with that classic panto charm: fast, funny, and delightfully chaotic. One fateful day, Goldilocks takes a short stroll through the forest (as you do), gets slightly lost (as you do), and stumbles upon a small cottage belonging to… well, you’ve guessed it… the Three Bears: Daddy Bear (Joshua Lay), Mummy Bear (Lauren Bimson), and Baby Bear (Charlotte Pourret). What happens next is pure, nostalgic panto: porridge is tasted, furniture is demolished, beds are tested, boundaries are pushed, and forgiveness is swift. But then comes the twist – these bears aren’t just your average woodland residents. Oh no. They’re full-blown circus-worthy performers! Who knew a Daddy Bear could bust some moves with so much charisma?

Once recruited into the Barnum circus, the action bounces between attempted captures, sneaky villain plots, heroic escapes and plenty of to-and-fro shenanigans until the deeds end up back where they belong. Justice is served, evil is defeated, and the good guys get their well-earned happy ending. It’s classic panto storytelling at its finest: bright, bold, silly, and incredibly satisfying.

But it wouldn’t be panto without the extras – and this production delivers the kind of spectacle that makes kids gasp and adults whisper “How on earth did they do that?” The audience-favourite Timbuktu Tumblers return with jaw-dropping acrobatics that feel straight out of a world-class circus. They’re fast, fearless, and so high-energy that it’s impossible not to be swept along.

And then there’s the magic. Oh, the magic.

Attending with my husband and my son William (11 years old) – both huge fans of all things magical – we were absolutely blown away by Phil Hitchcock as The Magical Mysterioso. Phil is celebrating an incredible 31 years in pantomime, and his experience shows in every moment. Tricks appear out of thin air, vanish into nothingness, reappear in the unlikeliest of places, and never once lose their charm. Watching William’s face light up at every impossible moment was a memory I’ll treasure forever. It’s rare these days to see classic stage magic performed with such confidence, timing and sheer joy – Phil makes it feel truly special.

The whole ensemble deserves recognition too. From dancers to singers to circus performers, every person on that stage helps transform the show into a sensory feast – and sometimes quite literally, with the bursts of spontaneous fire sending impressive whooshes and warmth across the front few rows. You don’t just watch this show; you feel it.

Visually, Goldilocks and the Three Bears is a riot of colour. The set is bold and bright, brimming with lights, glitters, moving parts and surprises. The lighting team delivers everything from twinkling forest scenes to electrifying circus numbers, and the special effects bring that extra layer of sparkle children adore. A huge nod must go to Musical Director Josh Sood, who we met very briefly at the end of the show. William, still buzzing with excitement, was fascinated by how the whole musical side of things worked – and Josh was warm, kind and incredibly happy to chat. A talented man with an infectious passion for what he does.

And then… the costumes. Oh, the costumes.

Teresa Nalton, James Maciver, and Mike Coltman have outdone themselves this year. Sequins? Everywhere. Feathers? Absolutely. Circus glamour? In abundance. And Dame Betty Barnum’s costumes? A new one every single time she strutted back on stage. Each outfit was brighter, bigger, bolder and more preposterously fabulous than the last – exactly what a Dame should be.

In short, Goldilocks and the Three Bears is an absolute must-see. For us, pantomime is a Christmas tradition, and in all the seasonal chaos – the shopping, the lists, the cooking, the rushing – there’s something calming and joyful about sitting with your family and laughing together at good old-fashioned silliness. This show is the reminder we all need that Christmas should be fun.

Brian Conley, if you somehow read this – I grew up watching you with my Mum, and your comedy never gets old. We might age a little, but the laughs stay the same. And in a world where this kind of family comedy is becoming harder to find, I’d urge anyone with children: take them to the panto. Let them experience the magic, the music, the belly-laughs, the villains being booed and the heroes being cheered. Let them feel part of the story.

Because that’s what pantomime is – not just a performance, but a memory-maker.

And Goldilocks and the Three Bears at Milton Keynes Theatre is one of the best memories you can give your family this Christmas. 🎄✨